Monday, November 06, 2006

Last Night. Ungh

I even managed to creep myself out last night.

What the hell was I thinking?

It was getting late and the sun starting to drop low in the sky, when we reached the mountain-cave for shelter.

We walked for hours without seeing a soul.

Nothing.

No one.

Nada.

It was then that the horrible truth set in. The planet had been destroyed once again. First there was the cataclysmic flood in the time of Noah. Yes, there was a flood, and the entire planet was covered in water. Don't believe the skeptics who say otherwise.

This was no bushy-tailed Kim Bauer fake-out, "hah hah, fooled you into thinking that God dropped a nuclear bomb on Sodom...why don't you spend some time with me in a mountain-cave..."

This was the real thing.

The last remaining remnants of humanity were my father, my sister, and I.

Running through my teenaged mind was the awful feeling that I would have to repopulate the planet by myself...a modern era Eve.

Yet what could be more gross...

Eww.

I didn't even want to think about it.

The way the story is recorded is that I got my dad drunk. Truth is, I got him drunk, and then finished the rest of the wine-skin myself.

If you think I was going to do some repopulating, in a perfectly conscious state of mind, well then you're sicker than I am. Hear me? You're SICK.

In fact, you're probably reading this right now wondering what level of detail I'm going to go into.

You have this fetish for ALL the details, don't you?

Your pulse is racing slightly faster than usual.

Mine would have been too, except that I had drunk myself silly.

To tell you the Baal's-honest truth, I have no clue how I managed the deed.

I will tell you this.

In the morning, when all was said and done, there are only 2 things I'm sure of:

1. My father would never again be able to offer his virgin daughter to a rape-mob again.
2. I got revenge on my dad for trying to throw me to the mob back in Sodom....he thought HE was screwing with me.

But we aren't done yet.

There's still the issue of my younger sister, and the day after that.

Join me back here soon....

LD

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant idea for as blog!

Just one question - if the whole world was destroyed, who are you blogging for?

10:05 AM  
Blogger Steg (dos iz nit der ┼íteg) said...

she's talking to herself, of course...

but then the question is, who are we?

10:28 AM  
Blogger Lot's Daughter said...

anonymous: Wait till tomorrow's posting.

Steg: Thanks. YOU understood!

11:43 AM  
Anonymous holy Hyrax said...

Is your sister blogging as well? From some of the Loshon Hara going around, she also participated in with your dad.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Lady Delish said...

We are her diary, silly!

2:59 PM  
Blogger Carmen O. said...

LD, I'm sensing a lot of anger. But I think it's partially misplaced. Where's the grief or rage over your fiance? Your future husband? He laughed in your father's face and perished along with the rest of his family. He could've been saved. G0d was ready to save him. But he opted out. I wonder whether you've explored your feelings on that.

It's also possible he was a closeted homo.

It's also possible that you guys were "super frum" and didn't really meet beyond a half-hour, supervised 'date' and a plate-breaking ceremony. There are so many facets to the story, and so many places on which to project our own biases!

9:17 PM  
Blogger Elie said...

Acording to some meforshim, those sons-in-laws were actually married to others daughters of Lot, who died in the cities' destruction along with their husbands.

12:56 PM  
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11:29 PM  
Anonymous duh! said...

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10:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watching to much of the TV show 24, to busy with Kim Bauer

11:14 AM  

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