Monday, November 06, 2006

I Hate My Father!

So we live here in Sodom.

Yes, it's a pretty sucky place, especially if you're straight. We moved here with my parents, a few months ago -- there's just my dad Lot, my mom, and my younger sister and I.

Everything's green, lush and straight out of a book of dreams. We're about a 12 hour donkey ride from Jericho and we're overlooking an amazing sea of crystal clear water.

The land is fertile and we do rather well since the land is so bountiful.

Problem is, the people here.

I'm not anti-gay or anything, and I'm rather tolerant as these things go, but last night was the worst.

Two gentlemen came to visit my dad, and they had this cool aura to them. My uncle Abey has the same sort of glow, but in a different way. Actually - it's rather attractive; as if they're "connected" with nature or something. Wonder if they're single?

Of course, strangers coming to town is a big issue here. The news spread like wildfire that we had guests, and before long, the entire town was crowded around our house banging on the walls, demanding that we turn over our guests...for the typical gang-rape that our town is so infamous for.

Luckily, we're on good terms with the king so people usually leave us alone. With the town being so anal, I don't even get cat-called.

But last night was the worst.

Everyone's banging away at the walls and doors, and I was totally freaked out by it all.

This was dad's problem and he'd have to deal with it. He invited these guests, and would deal with the consequences.

Thing's were really getting out of hand, and I couldn't even slink over to the computer and blog at all.

And then, my dad freaked me out.

He tried to reason with the crowd, and said, "I'll give you my 2 virgin daughters -- do whatever you want with them, just leave my guests alone."


Obviously, the crowd turned him down, since they aren't interested in virgin females...just young boys, or handsome gentlemen.

But me? I'm shocked that my father would even suggest for a second throwing me to that crowd.

What a bastard.

I'll get him back, and he'll regret screwing with me like that.

I've got to plan this carefully.

There's no DYFS, welfare or police worth reporting him to...but after we leave in the morning, I'll think of a plan.

And I'm going to so kill him for this. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.

Bastard. I hope he dies.

I can't think of anything worse for him.

I'll try to blog again tonight....will keep you posted.


Anonymous chucky said...

HEY didnt you have 3 more sisters
2 are supposedly married and 1 was bitten to death by bees for feeding a homeless dude?

1:45 PM  
Anonymous jaime said...

isnt this supposed to be a tanach story? what's with the gay bashing? everyone knows what sedom was all about, and it wasn't hot male-on-male action. they liked raping any guest. i know it's in the future for you but read some navi or pirkei avot. i don't even get where you picked up the whole christian bullshit sedom=gay nonsense. you know those christians like to make everything all about sex to distract from the real message of the story, which is about justice and hospitality. (refer to USA politics for more info on that)

7:35 AM  

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